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It’s Official, Ava’s Poop Is No Longer Cute

The first of many diaper changes.

Ava’s poop is past the stage of being cute and odorless. We have now entered the stage of smelly and disturbing. It’s biological warfare in a diaper people.

Ava is growing healthily and so are her ‘sit-downs’. She is ‘baking brownies’ at least once a day now, but the problem is they are coming out of the oven still very, very gooey. Plus, once again, they stink more than Pirates in July.

The Diaper Genie, once a steadfast storage space for soiled and stinky stuff is now fighting a losing battle. It can only keep in so much stink. ‘Deuced’ diapers now mostly go directly into the outside garbage.

What is most disturbing though, besides from the smell and consistency, is the sheer volume of it. Half the time Ava breaks the diaper’s levees. Clothes have to be hosed off before they can be washed. Diapers can only hold so much. Her poo is like the velociraptors in Jurassic Park. It finds the weak spots in the ‘fence’ of the diaper and repeatedly attacks it to escape. The aftermath is the same as well. Pure carnage.

And if all of that is not bad enough, Ava has the most impeccable timing. I already wrote on here about how she soiled her Halloween costume right as Michelle was taking her in to her school to show Ava off. She poops right after baths. She poops in stores and restaurants. In the car and in her stroller. These are places where it’s not the most convenient to do a full diaper and cleaning overhaul. Sure, a quick pee diaper change is easy. A quick wipe and slap on a new one. You can do that with her in your lap. But when you have to change clothes, rinse the ruined ones, wipe everywhere, and on top of everything else try to not let her spread the disaster with her arms or legs as you are cleaning her, it’s a tall order in a public bathroom or on the seat of your car.

The best is when you are changing her poo diaper and as you are elbow deep in the mess cleaning her, she decides that is the best time to pee too. I guess she thinks she is helping by trying to rinse off the poo first.

When out, a spare change of clothes is a must in the diaper bag. Hell, we even have back-ups for the back-up clothes. You never know when a second ‘after-shock’ poo might be coming.

Usually as we are cleaning her up, like the BP oil spill on a smaller scale, she adds insult to injury by laughing, smiling and giggling at us. It’s OK though. I hold no resentment. I love her too much. Besides, in my head, her chore list is already growing for when she gets older.

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About mikevi29

I was just a guy, now I am going to be a dad. *gulp*

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