I’m not a very patient person. I’m not good at waiting. Lines are my enemy, I hate rain checks and I always choose the express delivery option when ordering online.
Recently I have found my impatience has crossed over into my parenting life. This is troubling. One of the biggest things I gripe about on this blog is about Ava growing up too fast. I want to enjoy this stage of her life.
I’m not looking forward to her growing increasingly independent and one day realizing there is a world out there that needs exploring. I know one day, probably around the dreaded teenage years, she will say, “I hate you” for something I did in her best interest. I have come to terms with the fact that one day she will have her own personality and be her own person. I just need to make sure that I manipulate the formation of that personality as much as possible before she notices.
Me saying, “don’t grow up on me” and then what I do is where I contradict myself. Just the other day I bought her a softball glove that she won’t be able to use for another four or five years. I buy her sport jerseys and team outfits that she won’t fit into until next year at the earliest. I bought her a pair of Pumas that won’t fit her feet for another year or two either. I can’t help myself.
Michelle is just as guilty. This Christmas Michelle wanted to buy Ava one of those play kitchens. It had all the bells and whistles. All the accessories. Pots, pans, plates, the food, an oven, a microwave, lights, sounds…everything. It had it all, including the kitchen sink (get it!!!!….sorry, I can’t help myself). I pointed out that the box said it was for kids three and up. Michelle, not letting my logic ruin her fun, informed me that those are just guidelines and not rules, plus we could just put it in the attic until she is ready for it. Once I informed her that they aren’t going to stop making them and in a couple years they will still be around, even better ones in fact, Michelle realized it was best to save our money. A rare win for logic.
It’s just hard not to get excited. You want to give your kids all the best things in life, as well as let them enjoy all the fun things. You want to see the smile. You want them to look cute. You want them to be happy. And you want it to happen NOW.
It’s an odd phenomenon. When you are out and about and see something for a child, be it something you remember enjoying as a kid or just something that looks adorable or fun, the part of your brain that allows you think logically and clearly shuts down. Your eyes ignore the part of the box, or the tag, that states the age range that this object fits or is appropriate for. The only thing your mind allows you to think about is how cute your kid will look in it or how much fun they will have playing with it. Your eyes also tend to ignore the price. And if your eyes do accidentally skim over these areas of the packaging or tag, your brain jumps into action by stopping you from using reason and logic for why you shouldn’t buy it. It’s almost a type of temporary blindness.
The other day I had to stop myself from buying Ava a bike. I’m not talking about a little tricycle or a push cart either, I mean a frigging bike. The damn thing didn’t even have training wheels on it. I had the ticket in my hand and was about to head for the register. In my head I pictured me teaching Ava how to ride a bike and her riding on it saying how much she loves her daddy. My mind actually manifested an image of a what Ava might look like at five or six years old. I justified buying this bike because it was nice and it was on sale…like a bike would never be on sale again. Luckily half way to the register my brain kickstarted and said, “Hey Mike…remember the kitchen play-set Michelle wanted to Buy? Same thing here buddy.”
Say I did buy it and brought it home, it’s not like Michelle would have told me to return it. We are both enablers. I would have been told that it was a great buy and I was smart for getting it. It’s not like bikes are on sale everyday you know.
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